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To Support and Suffer
by Autumn Dickson
One of the most well-known stories in The Book of Mormon is that of the stripling warriors. Though their story is replete with inspiring stories and principles, I want to actually discuss their fathers, namely the Lamanites converts who changed their name to the Anti-Nephi-Lehies. These Anti-Nephi-Lehies came to dwell with the Nephites, and the Nephites offered them protection as they had taken oaths of pacifism because of their past dealings with violence. When Lamanites came to battle against the Nephites, the Anti-Nephi-Lehies did not participate in the war despite the fact that they were beneficiaries of the bravery of the Nephites.
Consider the whole of the story. These Nephites, who had once been mortal enemies with the Anti-Nephi-Lehies they were now protecting, were going out to war to protect all the people. The Anti-Nephi-Lehies helped support the war effort by helping to provide for the armies; however, before the stripling warriors, they offered up no warriors. The fathers had made an oath not to fight.
Though I would have whole-heartedly supported these Anti-Nephi-Lehies in keeping their covenant of pacifism, I acknowledge that this might have been difficult for some to swallow (maybe it wasn’t hard for anyone, I obviously don’t know because it doesn’t say specifically). I wonder if any Nephite mothers felt unwanted resentment as they sent out their husbands and sons, knowing that the Anti-Nephi-Lehies were not contributing in the same manner. Perhaps, in the minds of some, they felt that it was actually morally wrong that the Anti-Nephi-Lehies wouldn’t contribute similarly in the middle of a war. It wasn’t just about their own deaths; it was about helping to protect Nephite lives as well. We know this wasn’t a completely absent opinion because before the stripling warriors stepped forward, their fathers (who had taken the oath of pacifism) wanted to break their oaths and help fight alongside the Nephites.
I don’t point out this side of the story to cause discontent or even to play devil’s advocate. I point it out so that we can better understand the principle I want to teach today. That principle is found in the following verse. Helaman is writing to Captain Moroni and explaining that he didn’t want the Anti-Nephi-Lehies to break the covenant they had made with God.
Alma 56:8 But I would not suffer them that they should break this covenant which they had made, supposing that God would strengthen us, insomuch that we should not suffer more because of the fulfilling the oath which they had taken.
Because this was a war and because we live in a fallen world, there was going to be suffering and sorrow and loss. However, Helaman testifies of a benevolent God who would not allow the Nephites to suffer more because they had made the decision to protect the Anti-Nephi-Lehies. The Nephites were making a sacrifice, a potentially heavy sacrifice, in order to support someone else following the Lord. And yet, they were not truly going to lose.
There are a lot of modern day applications to this principle. There were sacrifices made by the saints in the early period of this dispensation as they buried family members, lost limbs, and suffered extreme depravities to provide a safe place for the church to grow for the countless people in generations to follow. There are also modern day implications that are likely more relatable because they aren’t a life or death situation. Serving missions, serving in time-heavy callings, and serving in general can take time away from other important priorities. All of the people who choose to answer the call and volunteer when called upon by the Spirit are sacrificing something potentially important, and yet, no one has to truly lose. Not really.
There are two points I’d like to cover.
A supposed sacrifice
Even if we were to end up sacrificing more than we would have otherwise, the Lord has every right to call upon us. I want to look at the idea of sacrifice as if we were truly sacrificing on behalf of others to better highlight the rightness of sacrifice.
I was called to serve in a primary presidency a week before I gave birth to my second child. Our ward had an enormous primary, and each half could hardly fit into the primary room for singing time. Needless to say, there was some time involved in the calling. It wasn’t even necessarily an extreme amount of time. However, as it came at the inopportune moment of delivering my second child, I was feeling a bit bitter. It didn’t help that my postpartum depression raged harder after my second child than with any other child. I felt stretched to the limit in many capacities. Conner’s schedule was absolutely chaotic, and Sunday was the only real day that I could have him home with the family with any kind of regularity. I wanted that time as a family, and I also wanted my nap time that I felt I desperately needed. But alas, Sunday was the only day that worked for the presidency to come together.
I fulfilled my responsibilities, and I believe I did so with a brave face (though it’s hard for me to tell…when I’m depressed, I have a hard time adequately gauging the success of my social endeavors). However, despite the brave face, I was angry and resentful of having this time taken away from me. I didn’t want to leave my house to take care of other kids. I wanted to stay home with my new baby.
I wasn’t even offering up my life like the Nephites, and yet, I felt cheated.
I’m not sure how long it took for my heart to soften enough that the Spirit could chastise me. But I remember walking around, delivering little packages to the primary families in the surrounding neighborhoods, when the Spirit helped me to see the kids who didn’t have what my kids had at home. I was missing out on a couple hours max with my little baby who was safely tucked away at home napping or with dad, but some of the kids that were on my list needed the gospel and they weren’t getting it at home. The Lord needed someone else to bring it to them.
My bitterness dried up quickly as my mind cleared to see the situation accurately. With everything beautiful that had been given to me, how was I to turn my back on the Lord and say He was asking too much? How could I deny these tiny sacrifices that had the potential to bless kids who needed it so badly because of the circumstances they were born into?
Perhaps the Nephites were wiser than me and recognized this. Perhaps they saw that these former Lamanites had been born into circumstances that were harmful. Perhaps the Nephites had their eyes opened, and they were completely taken aback as they recognized the strong spirits who had turned away from their previous traditions because of their immense faith. Perhaps the Nephites saw the situation for what it really was, and because of what they clearly saw, it was easy to make the decision to protect them even when it might have been perceived as “unfair.”
Which leads to my next point.
The Savior didn’t have the same promise but sacrificed anyway
No one has sacrificed more than the Savior. No one has given up what He gave up to save us. If He had been born into our circumstances, He still would have chosen to be perfect. And yet, despite the fact that He didn’t need to operate with the humble understanding that Heavenly Father would have tried to save Him in our circumstances, He still sacrificed. From our viewpoint, we can have the humble realization that we are no better than those we sacrifice for. For His viewpoint, He is better, but that’s not what mattered. What matters is that He loved everyone enough to want them to come home and so He sacrificed accordingly.
He sacrificed for each of us individually. He asks us to be like Him, to let go of what we believe we deserve, to sacrifice on behalf of those who can’t do it for themselves. There was no one to promise the Savior that He wouldn’t have to suffer more for choosing to step up for those who couldn’t step up for themselves. And yet, He did it. And because He did it, He offers us the promise that Helaman testified of, namely that He will not have us truly sacrifice anything that matters when we’re stepping up to sacrifice for another.
I also know this to be true. There have been a million moments in time where I have asked the Lord why He has asked me to do this blog when all I ever wanted to do was be a mother. There have been moments where I have failed my kids because I’ve been sacrificing to try and share these messages. There have been plenty of moments of bitterness where I have felt like He’s asked me to set aside my family in order to fulfill this responsibility He’s asked me to do. When looking at those individual moments, it would be easy to become confused and believe that it’s wrong to make these sacrifices when my priority should be my family. And yet, when you step back and look at the scales that include all of the blessings and sacrifices that have been made, I cannot testify enough that no one has been blessed more than me and my family. So much of what I love about myself has come because of these “sacrifices” I’ve been asked to make, and I know that these powerful beliefs about my Savior and myself will be passed on to my children. Though there are moments of sacrifice, my children will ultimately receive far more than they would have gotten otherwise.
Be willing to make the sacrifice with a willing heart, and you will also find the overwhelming blessings I have found on behalf of yourself and those you love.
The Nephites did not suffer more for being willing to uphold the Anti-Nephi-Lehies as they kept their covenants with God. I know it because I have had the same experience in my small way. The Lord is overwhelmingly good, and when He has asked us to step up and serve on behalf of others, He will turn again and bless us. If we follow Him with all of our hearts, we will never be able to repay Him for what He offers in return.
Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives.
About the Author
I’m preparing a lesson I’m teaching to the young woman on Sunday and have been looking for someone to help me understand this scripture story better. So happy to have found this and you! Thank you for Being so raw and honest, as a mom of four little ones, I know what it can feel like to be called to serve and all that brings! Thank you for being you!
The idea of sacrifice is an intrical part of the gospel that expands both time and eternity. The Savior sacrificed all so that we might be one day made whole again. Along that journey in following the Savior sacrifice will inevitably be made by the true follower both by way of calling and by way of personal revelation.
Will God ask us to sacrifice our family for personal endeavors? Does such sacrifice extend beyond to our callings and beyond the church? Perhaps so but, it the idea of God telling us to sacrifice our family for another calling out of the church and in the church might be considered confusing. God has given us commandments and covenants both at baptism and within the walls of the temple. Maintaining balance within these commandments is vital for spiritual survival within today’s postmodern day world.
The idea of sacrificing one’s family for an extracurricular idea regardless of the premise does not necessarily flow within the law of the gospel and the harmony by which such laws are executed upon. Now, this does not mean one cannot pursue efforts outside of the priesthood and calling to build his gospel. We have been in-fact commanded to share his gospel and we covenanted to do so at baptism.
But we have also been commanded within the walls of the temple to rear and raise children up unto righteousness. Thus, does our baptism covenant override our temple covenants and vice versa? No neither one supersedes the other. They are to be practiced and executed upon in wisdom and harmony with our own cognitive inertia and his spirit. The Lord will not tell us all things and in fact I believe he really wants us to use our minds for ourselves to live within the laws of the gospel.
Would he tell us to sacrifice our family, our kids, to share his gospel? Maybe… but, he also has told us to love and raise our family up unto righteousness. What we need more of is practical implementation of outside forces we choose to uphold outside of the Church and calling. Again, this same principle should extend to our callings within the Church. There really is no wrong or right way for one to serve both in and out of the Church in as much but, the idea of sacrificing away time does not strain other commandments and covenants. The administration of that procedure and policy can and will take change sometimes rapidly and other times slowly
What we must come to clearly recognize and understand is our own self-imposed ideas upon the principle of revelation and his commandments. Are such ideas causing strain within our own personal and family lives? If so then it is my hope that we might realize that such strain is brought upon our flawed implementation and view of the gospel. Even I myself am not perfect and fall victim to traditions and ideas planted within my mind as “truth.”
The Lord is with us! He loves us and is grateful for every one’s efforts in sharing his gospel. My prayer is that we will not confuse sacrifice with rightnouness that may strain other parts of the gospel ecology. Harmony is only ever achieved by balance and wisdom and the Lord really allows us to strum those instruments pertaining to the gospel note as we see fit.